(Blog-Off II Entry) Tiger Woods

In this blogging contest we were asked to pick a theme. Mine will be discussing the creation of my soon to be released iPhone app called "Beat the Boss". The motivation and influence of the game will be revealed in continuing posts. I'll start tomorrow because I got side tracked watching the news. Tiger Wood's wife Elin is doing her own form of "Beat the Boss" starting with their black Cadillac SUV. Here are my theories about how he crashed his car and how his wife saved him with a seven iron.

Scenario 1 - Thanksgiving gravy

OK, it's 2:30 in the morning. Tiger's wife Elin is fast asleep. Tiger sneaks out to go get a Slurpie. Unknown to Tiger, their dog knocks over the trash in the kitchen spreading slippery Thanksgiving gravy on the floor. Tiger walks through it on the way to his Escalade. His foot slips on the accelerator causing him to hit the fire hydrant and careen into a tree. Hearing the crash Elin wakes and instinctively grabs a golf club to beat away any paparazzi.

Not likely.

Scenario 2 - space aliens

In the middle of the night, space aliens abduct Tiger Woods to find out why he is the best golfer in the galaxy. He escapes, jumps into his Escalade and crashes into a tree. Elin jumps out of the window, beats back the aliens and pulls Tiger to safety though broken glass.

I don't think so.

Scenario 3 - window stickers

Not using his head, Tiger orders those stickers that show your family on the back window of your SUV. His included a mistress stick figure with her name under the bottom. Elin breaks the window, then his lip.

Close.

Scenario 4 - What really happened

Obviously, Tiger learned nothing from Kobe, Bill Clinton, Governor Mark Sanford, David Letterman, Russell Crowe, Mick Jagger and every other celebrity chased by TMZ. He was out late playing the nineteenth hole and got busted.

Number one, nobody leaves the house and crashes at 2:30 AM unless they are drunk, mad or scared. He wasn't drunk, so he was mad or scared. I don't think he was leaving, he was coming home.

Elin suspecting he is out with Rachel waits in the driveway. Tiger hooks the right shining the lights on an angry woman holding a seven iron. He panics and pulls a donut like Starsky and Hutch while Elin breaks the back window with the club. He loses control, rolls over the hydrant and hits the tree. As he staggers out of the car Elin connects with his chin knocking him to the ground. She kneels over him and continues to wail on him left and right till help arrives 5 minutes later.

When the paramedics show up they believe she is crying because she is scared. Not really, she was mad because she wasn't finished.

http://mike-browne.blogspot.com/

 

Comments

[Collier]

Scenario 2 - Tiger WISHES he could be an alien abductee right about now!

[Mike Browne]

David,

Yes, the 19th hole. It has caused many a marriage to crash.

[Mike Browne]

Janie,

Now that the truth is coming out, they have a lot to talk about.

[Mike Browne]

Yes Charles,

I always crash my SUV running from my wife.

[Mike Browne]

Mitchell,

I may have to do that. Oh no, here I go again!

[Mike Browne]

Marguerite,

If TMZ wants to do animated Tiger I'm there.

[Marguerite]

Mike, I look forward to your new career as a TMZ reporter!

[Mitchell]

You need to animate the final scenario, please.

[Ian harth]

Mike,
Your a nut and you will never change. Good stuff! Harkeem

[David K]

Playing the 19th hole! OMG Mike, you owe me a gut! You busted mine!

[Barbara Browne]

WOW! It's like you were there! You could hear his thoughts (because like Tiger you are a real athlete) and you have the insight into the feminine psyche to know Elin would either bust him a new one or take it out on his car. You go, Mike!

[rcl]

Mike as usual your creativity shins through

[Tim Halpern]

Hi, Mike.

This is your usual great stuff. Maybe she was panicked when the cops arrived because she thought she killed her meal ticket.

Anyway, at least now we'll get to see Tiger do all 18 holes.

For other great, Mike Browne work see
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KQHM24yO5FY

[Julia]

Mike,

I believe no extraneous detail was omitted in every possible scenario:-) That said, this was very entertaining to read.

[Lenny with Apalon]

Looks like Elin decided to beat him at his own game, using his own club and him instead of the ball, LOL!

[Mike Browne]

AXL, Thanks for the compliment. The Times has gotten rid of a lot of talent. Maybe I can get a job because I can write and draw.

[Marianne]

Mike, I believe in your last theory. She whacked him with a club till the paramedics arrived.

[AXL]

Mike,
Too bad you don't write for the L.A. Times. Fun stuff.

[Mike Browne]

Tim,

I like the idea of a consumer laser gun. Everyone knows aliens disguise themselves as hot female golfers and super models.

[Sis-Ubba]

The gravy scenario reminds me of a scene from a movie where the girlfriend puts baby oil on bathroom floor while her cheating boyfriend is in the shower. The visuals are quite entertaining.And yes, I'm sure that Elin wants to finish the job.
Keep up the good work.

[The Jete']

That was a fuckin' AWESOME break down of what "really happened"...yeah that is as close as i've seen someone get of what really happened...Good Job Mike,you almost had me with the "window stickers" part,lol its funny that i saw your humor in it.

lol!

[Darlene Sabella]

OMG, I haven't laughed that much in a long time. What a great article. You my friend, write so perfectly I forgot I was reading and saw the whole picture of events right infront of my eyes. Thanks for the humor and for making me laugh. Great job!

[Janie]

I liked how Elin was upset because she didn't get to finish what she had started! More was probably said behind closed doors.

[Nancy]

I like the window sticker scenario myself.

[Conrad Hall]

Hi Mike,

A good proofreading technique - when you don't have someone to do it for you - is to set your writing aside for at least an hour. Try to work on something unrelated during that time.

When you go back to your piece, read it from back to front - one paragraph at a time. That keeps you from developing a "reading flow" and helps you spot mistakes.

Mike, you have some good comments here. Be sure you come back and engage these supporters in conversation.

Sincerely,
Conrad Hall

[Charles h]

So you are sasying that this also happend to you, Mike. Roght?

[Mike Browne]

Conrad,

I need you as a proof reader. I actually had 5 or 6 more thoughts but did some cutting. My thought for my game is exactly what you suggest. You can spend thousands on therapy, or $2 bucks on my game. Doing the math it makes a lot of sense.

[laurie]

Hmmm.. watch out Sherlock!

[Conrad Hall]

Hi Mike,

Good post. Maybe the game could be tweaked for aggression therapy as well as fun and frolic. ;-)

Did you skip scenario 4 to leave us in suspense?

Sincerely,
Conrad Hall

[The Shadow]

Mike; I'm not sure I want to get in a boat with you where the water is over my head. Maybe Tiger can bring his new chick to the next Long Beach marina public hearing to add a little excitement.

The Shadow

[Tim Ruffner]

GREAT! I'm going to pick Space Aliens scenario. Do you think the Aliens are golfers or a young gorgeous looking hostess? ;)

Good post. I look forward to viewing more. My posts are going to be similar to yours but instead of an application mine will dealing with New Product Development and how it can be brought to the market. Mine will literally be just the steps involved in the process. It will not actually be a product that we may need to use, for instance a laser gun to shun off aliens as they try to abduct us. I think we can all agree a super awesome laser gun would be best to bring to the market!