This is what every little girl dreams of, getting married. Now that you found Mr. Right, and he gave you the ring, it is time for planning your wedding. My expertise is in "Wedding Receptions" I was once the Catering Manager for Disneyland and have done thousands of weddings. The most important thing you want to remember is to keep your family out of your way.
As a Catering Manager, the bride always shows up in my office with her parents; of course they pay for the reception in many cases, so it is important to have them here, but then they bring his parents, sisters, best friends. My office would be full of family members, this just seems to take the romance out of a relationship. They start arguing over everything, colors, theme, bridal dresses, you name it. I have to stop them in their tracks. "Hey, you all" I say with a serious look on my face, "we are just going to look for banquet space today; you have a year or six months to figure out all the details you need. However for now we are only going to look at the different banquet spaces."
Now, that is the first and only thing you want to let the family be involved in. I found out the hard way that all the choices the bride makes the mother will call me and tell me to change things, so I made a hard and fast rule that I would only deal with ONE person, and that person was the bride. No chances could be make at all, unless it comes from the bride herself.
Now that the space is all set, you want to start dealing with your wedding planner about six weeks before the wedding. If you are having your reception in a hotel, I suggest you get many of your needs taken care of at this one-stop shop. A good hotel will have the greatest bakers and their wedding cakes are top notch. Remember this, you will not have to worry if something is going to show up if you get it all at the same place. If you go to an outside source for your cake, it might not be there on time, or worse the van that carries it stopped too fast and the cake went flying to the front seat. Okay, that is rare but, to be safe, it is important to say stress free on YOUR day. This wise advise also goes for the flowers, music, dance floor, and much more.
Now if you are holding a reception at a private hall or home, let the wedding planner take care of those details; she has her contacts that she has developed over a period of time and know who she can trust to be on time and set up the perfect cake, flowers, band, wine, liquor, and so on.
Keep your family at bay, unless in fact you want to have a few people at your side at all time. Mom is great at assigning the table settings or you and hubby-to-be can assist at this. Give each family member and close friends jobs to do, like who will take the presents from the reception and take them to your home. Remember, you will be leaving for your honeymoon and will need to have help for these things. Your bridal party are going to be the most important helpers. I hope you pick your best friends and sisters that will really not mind doing some of the grunt work: pick up your dress, help plan the bridal shower; the reception dinner–you should let the parents do that. There are so many things to do so try to give up control, which of course is one of the hardest things you can do. I realize this, there will be many changes during the last few days, and again I will only deal with the bride on any changes. The final and last change will be the head count. I find that many people do not respond to your RSVP, so always have a few extra and don’t forget to add how many vegetarians there will be.
The staff meets the day before your wedding, by this time we discuss your time line, attending this meeting is the captain that runs your event, he is in charge of all the staff during your reception, he will make sure your linen is the perfect color from your event details, maybe you have pink linen with white lace overlays. or you want to put mirrors in the center of all your tables to place the center pieces on, we will go through your diagram to see where you want your dance floor, your band and the bridal table. he will follow your time-line down to a T. The chef will discuss your final count and all your food changes. Your final count will also affect your cake cutting charge as well as the cake.
To be honest it would take a large book I would have to write to give you all the information on having a perfect Wedding Reception. But, the most important issues will save you time, stress and help your day go perfect. Just remember, the day of your wedding is your day and everyone around you will do everything in their power to make it perfect. Then you will be on your way to your honeymoon and a wonderful beginning of your marriage. Good Luck and God Bless…
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I have read your your wedding planning and organizing reception idea is so beautiful and appreciative.
Posted by: Hawaiian Wedding | November 29, 2010 at 05:27 AM
Excellent news, keep up the good work. I read a lot of blogs on a daily basis and for the most part, people lack substance but, I just wanted to make a quick comment to say I’m glad I found your blog. Thanks
Posted by: Bridesmaid Dresses In Barrie | November 02, 2010 at 03:15 AM
Hi Janet, thank you for your comment, many thing are green at the finer hotels theses days. When I was doing weddings, it was never heard about. But, these days the hotels are gearing more and more towards green awareness. Thanks for your comment.
Posted by: DarleneSabella | February 02, 2010 at 07:01 PM
Darlene, did you find that a lot of brides are looking for ecofriendly options when planning their weddings?
Posted by: Janet | February 02, 2010 at 03:39 PM
A person comes in with a budget, they will look over the menu and choose the items that fit that budget. I think having a lunch reception would save you money, as well as two drink tickets for the guest, having an open bar can bring you way over budget. There is a way to work with all brides and each of their budgets. If they come to a place like Disney, we are so booked we turn people away, so we had many weddings on a high end, then again, I also did small gatherings, and had staff pass around small items to eat. There is no magic solution, each person has the control.
Posted by: Darlene Sabella | December 05, 2009 at 01:09 PM
Therran, most men would say the same thing. However, many women have this childhood fantasy dream. Is surely wasn't mine, however it is a lot of work and attention to detail. I love that part of working with brides. Overwhelming, yes...pass this on the you wife to be and lets plan your wedding...Thank you for reading my post, and your sense of humor is priceless.
Posted by: Darlene Sabella | December 05, 2009 at 12:38 AM
I was overwhelmed by the amount of things to do. If nothing else, your post makes me want to just say, "babe, you take care of it," and direct her to your writing!
I'll be there to pick colors and food and stuff...and to stroke checks.
Posted by: Therran Oliphant | December 05, 2009 at 12:04 AM
I don't know much about planning wedding receptions but I have been a guest at many than I can remember, in many different parts of the country and I don't think that there is just one size that fits everybody. What is perfectly normal for say a catholic couple in Brooklyn, NY would be completly out of place for a baptist couple in Ocala, Florida.
Posted by: John R Sabella | December 04, 2009 at 11:15 AM
I just lost a long comment I made to your post when I moved down to put in my name. This article is geared to a big wedding, the ones I use to do. Personally I agree with you and would want something much smaller, quit romantic. I would love to have a wedding in my home, by the fire place, with my children and close family and friends. In the wedding world their are really no "deals" at a hotel. However, you can save by limiting your guest counts. You are charged per meal, and you are also charged a per person cake cutting charge. Most folks that go to a hotel have a larger budget so I would suggest going to a private hall, or at home. Of course this would creat more work for you. Also, don't have a wedding planner. All these suggestions will help you save. So, when you plan your wonderful surprise for your wife, just call me and I can help you with the planing, Okay? And, thank you for your wonderful comment.
Posted by: Darlene | December 03, 2009 at 01:37 PM
Great pointers and great subject. Weddings are always a favorite read for anyone, even a married 28 year old. I never had a big wedding, or had to take these steps, however if I had to I would have been lost. After reading this post I feel that I know what I need to do. I was thinking for my 10 year anniversary have something nice. My wife and I got married at the courthouse and had a small reception at the house. We were young and pregnant. What about costs involved? How do you find DEALS?
Posted by: Tim | December 03, 2009 at 09:20 AM